so much more

I have so much.

I spend time. I spend so much of my time looking at all the things I don’t have, instead of all that I do. I pay more attention to all that I am not, instead of all that I am. And I let anxieties about what could be steal my joy away from what actually is.

I am learning-

that I have so much.

I do not stop. I keep running in circles. I have a lot of days where everything feels empty, and yet I can’t pause for long enough to stop and remember my purpose. I am not good at slowing down and being silent. I have grown so used to noise I don’t know what to do with the quiet.  I don’t have time to remember why I am here-and yet how will I ever be who I was made to be if I don’t make that time.

When I realize this,

I realize-

I have so much.

I have a gift. A gift that is irreplaceable and beautiful. A gift that is full of opportunities and chances. Every morning I have breath in my lungs. I have a day full of new chances and opportunities that I overlook and see as ordinary, when they are anything but that. I have a gift,

I have life –

I have so much.

I have a passion. I have a passion, but I bottle it up. I don’t set aside time to do the things I love, because it takes work. Discipline isn’t glamorous. There is always something mindless to do instead. I have a passion, but it isn’t growing because I’d rather do what’s easy.

It makes me realize-

I have so much.

I have love. He knows what makes me, me – and what makes me hurt. He hears it all and listens so patiently. He loves me so well. He is always there. He has never not been there for me when I’ve needed him. He is my biggest encourager and best friend. Yet I find his imperfections to point out and sometimes I spend too much time dwelling on those. I realize how discontent my heart can become when I make it all about me.

It makes me realize-

I have so much.

I have freedom to step into myself. To express my heart in front of an audience of one or one hundred thousand. And yet my eyes are glued to a screen that shows me how every other person is trying to be like every other person, and how I’m falling short. I choose to focus on their success, their joys, their lives – when I could pour so much energy into my own.

Sometimes when I remember this,

I remember-

that I have so much.

I do.

I have so much-

The question is, what am I doing with it?

Will I still have “so much” when I look back a year from now?

Or will I choose to live life differently,

and have so much more?

take your eyes off of everyone else: for the girl comparing herself

I’m not sure why but one of the first things we do when we’re feeling down is make ourselves feel worse. Comparison promises to make us feel satisfied but in reality it distracts us from who we were made to be.

It is hard not to spend all our time caught up in someone else’s success, friend group, money, or opportunities because the internet and social media pours it down our throats every day. If we don’t bring ourselves back to what’s true we will waste so much time chasing someone else’s purpose and miss our own.

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If you spend less time focusing on what everyone else is doing, you’ll have more time to become the best version of the person you have been made to be.

Take the energy that you pour into wishing you were someone else or envying an aspect of someone else’s life and start using that to fuel your potential.

The more you do what you were created to do, the less time you have to be concerned with what everyone else is doing.

You will never get anywhere if you are not looking straight ahead. When you look around more than you look ahead, you can’t find your way. You start following everyone else’s path-one day it’s one way, and the next another. You’ll never get anywhere if you are always distracted, chasing all the things that God has put in other people’s lives and ignoring your own life.

There are more beautiful things in your life than you can see right now, because you are not looking for them. You’re looking for the beautiful things in other people’s lives and wishing they were yours because our human hearts want to find goodness somewhere. Purpose offers us greatness. 

This is one of the most challenging things for me–focusing on what my purpose is and shutting out the voices that try to distract me. The voices of comparison, envy, and discontent. But it’s comforting–relieving even, to realize that you don’t have to do it all. You have been given a purpose. Your heart comes alive to something and your Creator knows that. He knows where He wants you. Don’t let the fact that your life might look different keep you from following the desires that He has given you.

& remember this. Every person you are comparing your life to is probably comparing their life to someone else.

The cycle breaks with us embracing who we are, where we have been, and where He has us going! No part of your story or your life right now is a mistake and every season is growing you to accomplish your purpose. I promise He has a purpose for you. When you discover it, you won’t have anymore time for wishing it was something different. You’ll find freedom to embrace who you are inside that truth, because you’ll know why you are here.

Tonight, if you’re scrolling on social media or looking around at everyone else’s life,  I hope you read this.

I hope you remember that no one’s life is as glamorous as you think. That somedays life hurts and that’s ok. That there is no part of you that is accidental. & that when you take your eyes off of everyone else and put your gaze straight ahead, fixing it on the One who made you, you will discover who you were made to be. I promise it will be better than anything you could come up with.

Choose to silence voices of comparison, competition, and discontent. Choose instead to believe that you are right where you are supposed to be, given the gifts you need to accomplish what you were created to accomplish, and most of all that you are made perfectly in His image. Hear Him when He tells you how valuable you are. Take your eyes off the next girl: you are so much more than comparison.

 

our ideas & His

The plans He has for us often look different than the ones we’d imagined or think we deserve.

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When we don’t understand our circumstances, it is often because God wants us to understand Him.

It is often because sometime-either sooner or later-He is going to replace something we wanted to hold onto so tightly with something so much greater.

His timing is not random and He isn’t waiting just to make you miserable. He’s waiting so that in the meantime, when nothing makes sense, you can find Him.

For anyone who is stuck in an in-between, who is unsure of their circumstances, who is questioning why their life looks the way it does- I hope you know He has your greatest good at heart. Even when it feels impossible to understand in the moment, He isn’t asking you to understand your circumstances. He is asking you to hunger to understand more of Him.

& understanding him might mean spending time alone with Him, but it also might mean simply living in awareness that each day is a chance to wait expectantly for what He is doing. It doesn’t have to be complicated like we make it.

Our lives were never meant to be what we expect, they are meant to be so much more. But we have to release our own expectations and exchange them for His. We cannot hold onto what we want and experience abundant life because the life that He is giving us is often different than what we’re holding onto. We are settling for what the world tells us we should want and He is holding out so much more.

So no, His ideas might not match all of yours. They may look painful at first and you may be confused for a while, but I can assure you they are better.

No part of your circumstances are accidental or a mistake. When you stop trying so hard to control the variables in your circumstances-the intentions, actions, and opinions of other people-you can hand them over.

One of the greatest gifts you can give yourself and this world is releasing your attempt of control over your circumstances and the responses of people in your life. Pursue who you are called to be, and leave the rest up to One who holds the world.

When you do this, you’ll realize that “our ideas & His” converge into one:

His ideas.

because they are better–every time.

 

19 things I’ve learned by 19

  The best way to waste your life is to wish it was different. You’ve spent a long time wishing parts of yourself were different, and all that time you’ve been missing what is right in front of you. Work to change what you can while you embrace where and who you are.Processed with VSCO with a6 preset

  1.  Your greatest heartaches often turn into your greatest blessings. They will hurt, but wait for the healing, because one day you will a different kind of whole than before you were broken. Cracks in your heart allow more love to pour in.
  2. Life doesn’t hand out do-overs. Today is what you have been given, and you might not get another chance to love the people who are right in front of you.
  3.  Never let approval become more important to you than who you are. You can gain as much popularity or influence as you want, but if you’ve lost who you are you’re only worse off.Processed with VSCO with a6 presetProcessed with VSCO with c6 preset
  4.  A lot of people might not appreciate you. You are not for everyone. But you are for some. Your heart might not be understood by thousands of people.
  5.  You will never figure tomorrow out. Stop holding back your heart from the world. If you do, you’re holding back on of the greatest gifts you can give. A gift that brings more joy the more you give it away.
  6.  Life is sweeter when you let the Lord surprise you. Your life will hardly ever look like you thought or like you think it should.
  7.  Everything–the highs and lows and hurts and joys? It is all leading to your ultimate good if you are in Him. That doesn’t mean that it doesn’t hurt or that your heart isn’t still aching. It doesn’t mean nothing is hard, it means that nothing is wasted.
  8. God is who He says He is. He isn’t hiding. He is present, waiting, and ready to welcome you home every time you wander.Processed with VSCO with a5 preset
  9.  Don’t let what people think dictate the person you are or the person you become.
  10.  Your worth is never measured by the influence you have or the amount of people that approve of how you’re living. A lot of people thought Jesus was pretty stupid.
  11. You will make a lot more mistakes than you want. In them, you will find more grace than you ever imagined.
  12.  The world you live in will tell you a lot about yourself. People will give you opinions. Pick a few people you will listen to, and don’t let the others get to you. They can only see a part of who you are. God-He sees every part and every piece of who you are-He has intimate knowledge of you. Commit yourself to Him and not people and their opinions. He has said you are worthy and enough, and called you to walk in that confidence.
  13.  If I think my life is safer in my own hands, I’ve lost sight of who God is.
  14. You will miss your whole life if you are caught up in your own version of who you want to be and how you think everything should play out. Learn to want what He wants for you more than you what you want for yourself.
  15.  Anxiety will never accomplish anything. Your world is in His hands and the most powerful thing you can do is to hand over what you’re worrying about to the One who is in control.
  16. The things you love to do-your passions and what makes your heart come alive–all of those aren’t accidental. He has poured life into you so that you can pour out His love to the world. Pursue what He has given you a heart for. Running after what the world promises will leave you empty. Learning to embrace who you are will change your entire outlook on life.Processed with VSCO with a5 preset
  17.  Only one Person can cure your loneliness. He is the same One who designed your heart to beat the way it did and love the things it loves. He stays up all night to talk when you need to cry. Don’t try to replace Him with people, they were never meant to be your Jesus.
  18.  He knows far better than me. & nothing else matters so much when I remember that.

 

whole

I hope one day you wake up and realize that you are whole on your own.

That you don’t need a thousand words from other people to affirm your worth.

I hope you see the light in your own eyes and the beauty you are capable of bringing to the world.

Some days I see it, and other’s it’s hard.Processed with VSCO with c8 presetProcessed with VSCO with a9 preset

But I see it most days now, whereas before such days came so few and far in between.

I always thought it would be impossible to believe that who I am is enough. It isn’t easy for anyone. All of us seem to have a fascination with “enough.” We are constantly thinking we have to do something outside of ourselves to be seen as complete, enough, valued, or worthy of love.

But maybe even if we never “accomplished” anything else for the rest of our lives our presence here would still be enough. Our laughter and love and hearts. Who we are at the core of our being is not defined by success or failure or accomplishments.

We can get so caught up in running after trophies that the world awards us for busyness, beauty, and fame, that we forget about why we’re here. That we forget that it is not selfish to step back from something. That it isn’t bad to let go of seasons and move on. That it isn’t a mistake to leave something that might be pulling us farther and farther away from who we were created to be–even if everyone thinks we should stay.

Insecurity-Wholeness-worthiness-they are laying on my heart heavily lately. How we spend all of our lives thinking we have something to prove when in reality we are missing our life because we are trying to convince people who don’t really care or people who are broken themselves to take the place of God and tell us we have what it takes. We spend all of our time looking for approval from people who don’t even have the capacity to give our soul what it needs.

So many of us can feel whole because we’re pieced together with the glue of people’s affirmations and approval and likes and comments. But if we took everything that people ever said about us away, would we fall to pieces? Have we been made whole by the one who truly makes whole or are we just looking for fillers to piece us together? Cheap glue may be easy and convenient but it doesn’t last forever. We’re going to start falling apart if all their opinions are holding us up, because they could change their minds in an instant.

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I don’t have it all figured out. In fact, I’m starting to realize how I know less and less every day. I don’t know the way God wants me to view myself. I’m still learning that. I don’t always remember why I’m here. I don’t always have faith like I should. Some days I’m overwhelmed with so many doubts I wonder if I still belong to Him. There are a lot of areas of my heart that are so stubborn and don’t want to obey. But then I remember I am still His when I look back and see how He is working.

To be whole-without their opinions-that is one of the things I am still learning. But when I see how He has changed my heart in the past year I know that He can do it in you too. He is able to allow you to see the beauty, value, and inherit worth in yourself.

I’ve realized that I don’t need people to affirm who I am every moment of every day. I’m not walking on eggshells wondering if people still like me the way I used to. I’m not insecure about every word I say or every little thing I do. If someone doesn’t have the eyes to see the beauty and worth in you, it has nothing to do with who you are and everything to do with their vision. You cannot spend all of your time proving to everyone in this world that you are enough and worthy of love.

You have to start spending all of your time telling yourself what the One who made you says about you.

I hope one day you wake up and realize that you are whole on your own. It might not be today, but you are getting there.

Take it from me and know, that nothing compares to the freedom that comes when The Lord sets you free from what has held you back for so long.

Speak, laugh, dance, write, and simply be.

You are so beautiful in His eyes.

Let that be your place of radiant confidence that enables you to follow Him wherever He might take you,

you are whole.

 

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He isn’t anxious

He isn’t anxious-

He isn’t unsure about my future. He isn’t questioning my tomorrow. He holds it.

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He isn’t anxious-

He isn’t concerned about me measuring up to their standards today.

He isn’t worried that I’m not enough.

He isn’t concerned about my productivity. He wants my heart fully surrendered.

He isn’t anxious-

He isn’t unsure about how He made me.

He isn’t questioning why I’m here. He made me in confidence, knowing He placed me here for a specific purpose.

He isn’t anxious-

He isn’t worried about people thinking highly of me. Or people misjudging intentions. Or their opinions at all.

He has an opinion of me. Processed with VSCO with a6 preset

He isn’t anxious-

He isn’t concerned that my heart wanders. He knows that sometimes I have to see the emptiness of everything else to understand the fullness of Him.

He isn’t anxious-

He isn’t worried about the numbers that the world uses to measure my worth. He knows a scale or a GPA can never measure who I really am.

He isn’t concerned that I’ll pass or fail.

He isn’t overthinking every move I make. He isn’t worried about where I’ll be next year at this time. He isn’t concerned that I might not make the cut.

He wants me close to Him. And in His eyes? Everything but communion with Him doesn’t matter so much.

And so today, I can replace my thoughts with His. I can see things from His perspective.
He isn’t anxious,

and neither am I.

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my health + fitness routine

I’ve had a few questions lately about what workout/eating program I follow. I thought I’d put together a little post for you guys so you can see what my routine looks like! Feel free to comment any questions. I’d love to hear what you guys do to stay fit and what your routine looks like!

fitness routine

Food

Let’s be honest we all have those days where we eat the most random stuff. Or we eat everything in sight. One of the ways, however, that I’ve found is helpful for eating a balanced diet is meal prep. After completing Arbonne’s 30 days to healthy eating program, my perspective on food shifted. I try to fuel my body with more vegetables and healthy fats and proteins than anything.

For me, breakfast is usually a protein smoothie with greens, almond butter, and protein powder. For lunch I try to meal-prep three days at a time.  Lunch is either a salad with fruit and a protein on it, or brown rice, vegetables, and a protein and healthy fat. This is the guideline you follow in the arbonne detox and I’ve stuck with it. It helps me feel full but also fuels my body with the energy it needs. Also, don’t be afraid to eat more food if your body is hungry. Just be eating the right food. Often times the reason we’re exhausted or don’t seem to be making any progress when it comes to health/fitness goals is because we’re not giving our body the nutrition it needs.

Workouts

For the past four months I’ve been using Kayla Itsines “Sweat” app. You guys this app is incredible. Personally, it has helped me develop more of a workout routine. I love working out because I know what I am going to do that day, and don’t have to walk around the gym looking for a machine to get started on. I try to get at least 5 in a week. It varies a TON. Some weeks I go to barre classes, some weeks I run outside. Although there is a good bit of variation in my schedule week-by-week, here’s what a typical week looks like for me in terms of workouts.

Sunday– 20 minute step-up followed by weightlifting (either legs, arms, or full body)

Monday– step-up warm-up (15 minutes) – Leg workout (28 minutes) – abs + stretching (10 minutes)

Tuesday– HIIT Step-up workout and conditioning (45 minutes) OR weightlifting-arms

Wednesday-rest or low intensity cardio(a jog/walk outside)

Thursday– cardio warm up (15 minutes) – Arm workout (28 minutes) – abs+stretching (10 minutes)

Friday-rest or low intensity cardio

Saturday– HIIT running sprints (20 minutes) – Ab workout (28 minutes)

Like I said this varies a TON week to week. It depends on what days I get in the gym, how much time I have, etc.

Favorite Health Products

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Many of you guys know about the program I did few months ago by Arbonne. It helped get me out of the rut I was in and helped motivate me to live healthier. I’ve stuck with a few of the products and have noticed a huge difference. Here are my favorites:

Protein powder-(chocolate or vanilla)-I struggled for a while finding a protein that actually filled me up and gave me the energy I needed. This stuff is SO good.

Pre-workout-I usually take this before or during the beginning of my workout. It gives me the energy I need without a crash mid-workout. It helps sustain your body and hydrate you as well.

Fizz sticks-the BEST energy drinks with vitamins including B12, helps boost metabolism + curb hunger. SO great if you’re a coffee addict and need a replacement. These are so good mixed with an iced green tea or iced detox tea.

Greens Balance-I add this to my smoothies in the morning or recovery shakes! It helps balance your diet and give your bodies the nutrients it needs.

If you’re interested in joining our next detox group, head over HERE!