rejection and failure: unlikely gifts

Rejection has come to take a negative connotation in our lives.

Fear of it can paralyze us into doing nothing at all.

We’ve pushed it all to the “ugly” side of things. The things we’d rather ignore and forget about. The things in life we hope to never experience. We label ourselves based on rejections and what seem like failures to us.

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The perspectives we have on rejection and failure have boxed us up for far too long and kept us back from who we were made to be.

We all seem to avoid those two things as if they are the last things we want to experience. Because they hurt. They break down the walls of pride that we’ve built up around our hearts. They reveal the ugly and messy parts of us. They reinforce the worst things about us. It’s as if fear, rejection, and failure speak to us, whispering,

You don’t fit in here. You don’t belong. You don’t have what it takes. And you never will.

But what if there is an entirely different perspective we can see rejection and failure from?

Isn’t it worth one thousand rejections of the wrong thing or the wrong person or the wrong group of friends to find the one thing or one person or one group of friends you belong to? 

Because in this life, you will be rejected. That’s a promise.

You will be rejected, because you were not meant to be accepted by everyone.

You are not for everyone.

You are not for the whole world.

You might not have found you’re people yet.

You might feel uncomfortable,

like each attempt at a new friendship dies out,

and that’s ok.

You may feel like there’s something wrong with you.

Like maybe no one understands your heart?

But one day, you will find the person that you mean the world to. Maybe one day you will find the friend who means the world to you. I hope you do. And you will realize you don’t need a world of friends. A few close hearts can mean everything. You don’t need a spotlight shined on your life. You need to let Christ set your heart ablaze. You don’t have to be noticed by this world that might reject you, you are seen by the One who always accepts you.
Because honestly?

The person who is never rejected-who never fails-who never messes up,

has never risked.

And if you haven’t risked anything, are you really living at all?

See rejection and failure through a new perspective. They’re pointing you to where you belong. They’re pointing you to the arms of a God who always accepts you. They’re pointing to the people He made to be in your life.

It’s the mundane days in life that require the most courage. The courage to be bold and to press forward, accepting the fact that in this life you will face rejection and failure. And yet at the same time, you can accept the fact that every rejection and failure is pointing you to your greater purpose.

And yes, a thousand rejections and a thousand failures are worth it when you find the one person you were meant to be with–or the one passion you were created to spend your life pursuing.

if you feel out of place, here’s something

October was a crisp month that brought warm sunsets and cool mornings. The cold breeze blew the confusion out of her heart.

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She had never felt more free. It was as if she was liberated from the chains of confusion that had bound her for so long.

Maybe it was the changing season or her changing soul, but she was beginning to see things in a different way.

I’m not sure why it came as such a surprise to her. She had asked for this. To see things differently than she ever had. She had surrendered and left her all. She had asked to go deeper than she had ever gone. And still, it left her heart a little flustered.

She was the girl who was always assumed to be better than good. She hid her insecurities with a smile and no one would have ever ventured to guess that she was struggling like the rest of us.

But perfection is the best cloak to hide the fact that you feel insufficient.

Perfection steals your life and places a pressure on your shoulders you were never meant to bear. A pressure to get it all right.

Why is it that we think we’re the only awkwardly broken human trying to figure life out? 

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She slowly released the need to compete as she realized that she was complete. There was nothing further to fight for. Nothing more she had to do. It was all won for her. There was nothing more to prove, and this left her space to simply be.

Instead of being more, she needed to realize who she already was.

The comparison that had stopped up the rivers of life in her soul fell away and suddenly, like a hard rain pouring down, she was drenched.

Drenched in the reality of who she was. & that that reality was enough.

It rained down on her in buckets. Buckets of grace showing her that she was worthy because Her king had said so. She let it wash away all the lies that had corrupted her heart and tied her down. The lies of inferiority that claimed she wasn’t able. The lies of incapability that made her rely on herself. The lies of identity and trust. She couldn’t help it–she tried to hold on-but the force of the rain pouring down was too strong. Grace stripped the mangled identity she had held onto for so long out of her hands and washed it away so fast she could hardly realize what was happening.

And suddenly like the new season around her, a new season began in her heart. She knew in that moment that she was dreamed up by the God of all the universe. That God did not place breath in her lungs to be wasted. He would not have her here if He did not have something incredible to do through her. She knew right then that if she kept her mouth shut like she had for so long and didn’t tell others, she would be missing an opportunity to tell someone the one thing that could change their life:

There is a place for you. 

Always.

If you’ve grown up hearing the Gospel, struggling with perfectionism and legalism, or if you’ve never even heard of the grace of God. There is a place for you.

You are not defined by who you have or haven’t been.

Today? Today ushers a new season. Let this new season be one of believing who He says you are. Let it be the day that the rain pours down and washes away all of the false security you’ve built up.

Let it all fall away but Him.

Lift up your face and let the change in seasons bring a change in your heart.

I believe you are worth more.

& no matter where your soul is-be it spring, summer, autumn, or winter,

I believe there is a place for you.

 

 

 

your King has the final say

Our lives are lived right out of what we believe.

We could try and separate what our heart believes and what our hands do, or what we speak, but they’re all intertwined in a beautifully raw and almost awful way.

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I think that’s why I’ve been fascinated with the whole theme of identity for so long. I’ve found myself writing so many journal entries and penning so many truths on my heart these past few years of my life. Sometimes though, no matter how often you tell yourself the truth, you still find yourself being caught up in the lies.

Maybe it’s the culture around us that is always pushing us to be more or to try harder, or maybe it’s that we’ve allowed ourselves to become so preoccupied with who we think we should be, that we’ve forgotten to be who we are.

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I love the fact that the King of all the earth has the final say in who we are. Because at the end of the day, I know I’m not the only one who has had so many billions of different thoughts questioning who I am and why I am here. It’s a constant, non-stop war and sometimes I just need space to breathe. But when I lay in bed at night, my favorite thing to do is to fall asleep talking to the One who gives me my identity. He sings it over me in His voice of mercy and grace and reminds me once again that I am His, and that I am loved, and that because of His perfection, I am enough.

You see, unless we come to the One who made us, we can’t really determine who we are and what we were made for. But when we come to the feet of the One who has put the heartbeat inside of us and the smile on our face-we really learn what we were made for.

Freedom comes the moment you decide that the One who made you has the final say in what He made you for. This isn’t a against-your-will kind of purpose, it’s a purpose He gives that causes your heart to come alive. I believe in purpose. I believe you aren’t here on accident, and that you’re beautiful heart isn’t an accident. I believe the only way you can truly chase your King and unspeakable joy is to be caught up in His purpose and will for your life.

This means letting the opinions of people who don’t even know you fall away. This means dancing to the rhythm of His love on the hard days when the world wants you to sit still and throw yourself a pity-party. It means you open His love letter to you and you read it. It means you believe. You believe that what He says of you is beautifully enough and there is nothing greater to live for.

Identity is about what you believe. He says you have a unique purpose. He says He has incredible things prepared for you to do, if you would chase Him and let your heart come alive to the fact that He has chosen you to accomplish His purposes through. We all have a specific place in the Kingdom of God, and until we grasp a hold of the fact that this purpose looks different in each of our lives, we will never find the freedom to be different.

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You don’t need to follow the culture, conform to their lies, or let their opinions dictate how you live your life. When you get alone with God, those opinions start to fall away and you can let yourself breathe. You can let your hair down and dance and be free. You don’t care who sees anymore and you don’t care what they say about you.

Our calling as chosen daughters and beloved children of God is to live out the fullness of the Gospel. To chase down who HE has declared us to be and to let that truth and reality permeate to the depths of who we are. Quit believing the lie that someone else does it better and start believing He has equipped you to be the woman He has called you to be.

Yes, it may be different that what everyone else is doing, but no, it won’t be boring. Because claiming your identity as you run after Him is the most rewarding adventure you’ll ever be given the privelege to participate in.

Quit doubting you’re incredible. Start believing that He is. He will do mighty things through the quirks that set you apart as different. He will set lives straight through your crooked smile. Our God is able. You are here on purpose. & that is a liberating identity.