I rolled over this morning and couldn’t go back to sleep. So the house is quiet and no one else is up. It’s not that early, it’s just the holidays. I logged on to type some words because I couldn’t find my book. And then I saw the “daily prompt.” Retreat.
Naturally, I clicked on Merriam Webster online and looked it up. The first definition read
a (1) : an act or process of withdrawing especially from what is difficult, dangerous, or disagreeable
Saturday night the pastor’s words stuck in my head.”We are in this world but not of it. And God saved us from the world to send us back out into the world.”
I’ll admit that scares me. I would much rather retreat. I’m an introvert who tends to quit on resolutions and difficulties easily. I really like what I’m already comfortable with. But sometimes I think I it’s simply that I’m afraid of showing up to my own life. Most of the time I retreat because I’m afraid of what could hurt me.
I think we all do it from time to time. Holding back because if we gave more it might take a part of us. We’ve covered up our beautiful ability to feel pain because we’ve started to believe that certain emotions show weakness.
I’m more and more convinced that we have to let ourselves feel the highs and the lows. We have to know pain in order to know joy. To know a loneliness somewhere so deep that we can feel an acceptance and love so full. I think maybe life is that way. We cannot know what we are missing until we taste what we never want to miss again.
Retreat is easier. But it makes life boring.
If you want your life to count for something? Make it your mission to quit retreating from the purpose you’ve been given.
That’s my one goal for this next year, to stop thinking I can come up with a better purpose for myself than the one I’ve already been given. To stop quitting on life and to start showing up. Not because I’m not scared, but because I am scared. And bravery doesn’t mean the fear goes away, it simply means you do it inspire of the fear that might linger.
New years resolutions can pile up and then you forget what you really want to change. So don’t change so many things. Change one thing that will change everything.
Show up to your life. Every. Single. Day.
Show up with a sword ready for the unknown.
Show up bold & courageous despite what opinions they might have.
Show up because you know your life matters.
Show up to the difficult, dangerous, and disagreeable with a brave smile, because you know how it all ends.
Show up because He didn’t save you to sit back–
He didn’t save us to retreat.