I know you feel like every other person on this earth has found their purpose, and you’re dancing on you’re own two feet to music no one else hears in a swirl of clueless emotions.
You really don’t know what you’re doing here. I mean, life is a little strange isn’t it? One moment we know why our lungs are full of air and our hearts are on fire and the next we’re wondering if we’re good enough to order our breakfast and latte without saying something completely ridiculous about vanilla syrup to the barista. (Please tell me I’m not the only one).
We waver down here. Waver because we are human. And we forget a lot of things. We let our brains get washed out with words that aren’t true. We start to believe what we keep hearing. Then we question what He tells us is truth. Then we go back to what the world is saying. Then we turn around and run back to Him.
You get the picture because your life is that picture.
I think sometimes we get caught up in feeling sorry for ourselves, when the reality is He just wants us to move on and to keep going. He lifts us back up. We’re stumbling through life and every time something knocks us down, it’s an opportunity for us to call on Him. For us to ask Him to pull us back up. You might be completely confused right now about what He is doing and were He has you, but you are never too confused to simply ask Him to lift your heart back to the place of surrender.
If you want to live a life that is truly full and alive, you are going to have to do a lot of things you do not feel like doing. Sometimes, you will not feel like asking Him to renew you. You will feel like sleeping. You will feel like filling your schedule with anything and everything else to keep you from having to be still with your own thoughts. You will run in this life. Run from anything that reminds you that you need Him. Because your heart knows it’s true, and sometimes it’s really hard to come.
A lot of days will pass where your purpose feels vague. But that does not mean your purpose is vague. What you feel is not indicative of what is true, but what is true informs how you feel–if you let it.
My heart doesn’t hold all the answers as to why our emotions waver, but sometimes late at night, it is full of thoughts and words that I have to write down. I have to write them down so that when I wake up tomorrow and want to choose to believe against what I feel, I have something to go back to. We all need a word sometimes to know that we are right where we need to be.
So here is a word for you.
You are not the only one struggling to find purpose. Our hearts are engrained with a longing to live for what matters. But this world and the emptiness here clouds our minds. We get so caught up in how today feels that we miss the bigger picture of what our lives are meant to be. You do not have to figure out what you want to do in life. Figure out who you are living for, and He will show you.
Your purpose transcends a career or what you “do”–it’s who you are. You are not defined by how successful you become or what job you land. You are not defined by a score on a math test or a GPA. You are not defined in comparison to someone else’s intelligence. Your purpose is to make the name of your King known, and He knows just how He wants you to do that. He is making a way.
You are not stupid for wondering if you’re enough. We all do. Over and over again. You are not the only one feeling alone or forgotten or left out. I just hope you know that whatever you are feeling tonight, someone else is feeling it too.
You are one of the many. One of the many broken who has been made whole by a love so deep and full that all of life could not contain its beauty.
You are so incredibly loved. He loves you enough tonight to remind you to come back to Him. He wants you to be with Him. He has a purpose for you. You are not an accident. If you can’t figure it out, that’s a good thing. That means He wants you to focus all your heart on running after Him. He will show you in His time. He makes it all beautiful when He sees fit. He’s never failed before, and He is not about to start.
You are not alone. You have incredible purpose. You are not stupid. You do not fall short. You are so incredibly loved
There will never be another you on this planet. Let your passions and gifts and dreams grow and develop and pour out on other people’s lives. Sitting comfortable on what you know might feel good today, but you will regret it tomorrow. You never know who might be liberated when they see you spinning around caught up in a love deeper than all you can fathom.
Throw aside your doubts and step into glorious freedom.
Let the fear fall by the wayside,
Dance to the music that only you hear.
And know that in this glorious mystery there is a peace that comes when you know one thing:
you are right where you need to be.