I have always been a people pleaser – through and through.
In most cases, I would rather make as many people as possible happy than I would do what is right for myself.
A few months ago I began to realize how I spent so much of my time worried about hypothetical opinions of people who don’t even know me–or even of those that do. I have been working on unraveling the mindset that I am here to please, validate, or impress others.
I’ve been noticing a few things along the way, primarily that I’ve been trying to prove something to people that isn’t even theirs to validate. My worth doesn’t rest in their hands. But I have tried over and over to measure it by their approval, how they treat me, or what they say.
What someone thinks of me is fundamentally not meant to matter to me. Their opinion is just that — their’s. It’s not mine. It’s not my Creator’s opinion of me either. It’s not my responsibility to convince them to cheer me on, love me, or approve of how I’m living my life.
I’m learning this more and more lately, and as I am, I’m beginning to experience a different kind of freedom. A freedom that simply allows me to be who my Creator made me to be – to not put on a facade, or hold back parts of my heart from the world.
I don’t have to write to earn their approval. I write because I love words and it’s where I feel God’s presence the most. I don’t have to work to make them happy. I can set boundaries and control what time I give to others. It’s not up to me to make them love me. I don’t have to be a “fan favorite.” And any negative opinions they might actually have certainly should never be enough to derail me from pursuing what He has put on my heart.
He has never asked me to convince them that I am worthy of love.
If others don’t value me – that’s on them.
Some won’t, but that does not mean I’ve done a lousy job of convincing them that I matter.
Because I don’t have to convince them.
It means they don’t have the eyes to see people for who they actually are.
Here’s the thing – this life I’m living is not for them. I know who I am living for. He made me in a way that is completely different from every other human on this earth. He gave all of us our differences and quirks and personality traits that some might deem “weird” or “awkward.”
I am embracing those differences each day now. The things I hid behind or shrunk back from. I am running towards the things that set me apart because now I see that He wants those differences present in my life – He put them there. & if He rejoices over them, so will I.
So take the pressure off yourself. To feel as though you have to work or perform to be loved. You are worthy of love – even if you never did or accomplished anything else during your time on earth. You are enough, even if you never reach your next goal, perform the way you want to perform, or impress the people you want to impress. In the end? That stuff doesn’t matter so much. What matters is that you said, “God, here are all the things that set me apart. Here’s what you made me to do. I’m embracing these things with arms wide open. I’m running into the fullness of who you made me to be. And I don’t have to convince anyone that I am worthy of love. I am full – whole – complete. & it’s all for You.”